It finally hit me yesterday why I’ve been so wishy-washy lately. I have recognized how I was acting, but couldn’t put my finger on why it was happening. I kept blaming it on my “mid-life crisis” and getting more and more frustrated at my indecisive self. I’ve always been the leader of groups, the organizer, the generator of new ideas -what was wrong with me?
So, yesterday I was listening to an audioclass on writing a business plan and it hit me. The culprit was FEAR, pure and simple. I’m planning to move outside of the comfort zone I’ve been in for nearly 20 years. After much thought and prayer, I believe this is the right direction, but it requires learning some new skills. Part of me periodically fights the idea, preferring to remain in the safety and familiarity of the status quo. FEAR keeps many people from ever living up to their potential, and I could have easily become one of its victims.
Ever had one of those days where you get in the car and the lyrics of a song on the radio seem to be written just for you? God was speaking to me, loud and clear, through Brandon Heath’s song Don’t Get Comfortable. The words are not profound, but they were exactly the message that I needed:
Comfortable, don’t get comfortable. I am gonna move this mountain then I’m gonna move you in.
Okay, God, I get it. I can justify myself and make up great excuses all day long, but in the end, You are big enough to overcome all the obstacles that I can dream up. You have a great plan for me and I would be a fool not to let You carry it out.
Yesterday, this is not yesterday.
You were standing on my shoulders ; now you’re standing on the edge.
Where I was yesterday was the right place at that point in my life, but this is a new day and He has a new plan for me. Though I have stood securely in the center of His will, confident that I was where I should be, He is now asking me to take a leap of faith -and that’s not so comfortable!
You’ve been looking for a sign all this time.
If you seek you’ll find me every time.
I was looking for a sign; it just didn’t appear the way I expected. Did it really take this many months for me to be ready to hear what God had to say? How embarrassing!
I am gonna show you what I mean
I am gonna love like you’ve never seen
You are gonna live like you used to dream
This is your new song
Why do we doubt that God wants to do great things for us? We know how much He loves us, so why is it so easy to get caught in the trap of believing that we don’t deserve better?
So afraid but you don’t have to be afraid
Even if you make mistakes
You know that I’ll remain
How did He know that I’ve been literally paralyzed by fear and didn’t even recognize it? I guess my perfectionist side found it easier to create endless diversions and alternate plans rather than face the fact that I might make mistakes doing something new.
Do you want to live like you used to dream?
You’ve got a new song
I think (I hope!) I’m finally ready to push forward with passion and determination towards the new adventure God has for me. My new song is being written; how about yours?